How do I balance being warm without losing authority?
Research by Harvard professors Amy Cuddy and Susan Fiske shows that when people meet you — as a leader, peer, or even in a new role — they quickly assess two things:
Can I trust you? (Warmth)
Can I respect you? (Competence)
Warmth signals safety and connection.
Competence signals skill and reliability.
Leaders who project both are seen as more effective, promotable, and trustworthy.
Why It Matters - The BIAS Map: Where Do You Stand?
Cuddy and Fiske’s BIAS Map Quadrants help explain how warmth and competence shape how others feel about us — and how they behave toward us.
| High Warmth / High Competence | High Warmth / Low Competence |
|---|---|
| Admired & Trusted | Liked but not respected |
| Low Warmth / High Competence | Low Warmth / Low Competence |
| Respected but unapproachable | Dismissed or ignored |
Ask yourself:
Where would I fall today?
Where would I want to be seen?
Reflect and Rebalance
To grow your leadership fitness, take a moment to reflect:
Based on my personality type, which is my strongest area — warmth or competence?
What are the positive ways in which I showcase that strength?
How am I intentionally improving my weaker area?
What is my strategy to create a better balance?
How do I know when to lean more on one side — depending on the person or situation?
Remember:
As leaders, we accomplish results through and with people.
If what others assess first is warmth, we must pay attention to how we come across.
This isn’t about faking warmth — it’s about building and demonstrating it with the right person, at the right time, and through the right actions.
My Experience
I’ve always leaned more toward competence — partly because of how I was raised, and even more because the corporate world rewards performance, control, and results.
Over time, I learned that warmth isn’t “soft”; it’s strategic. It builds trust, accelerates collaboration, and creates long-lasting relationships.
When I think of a balanced leader, I think of Barack Obama.
His calm authority, paired with empathy and presence, models that perfect equilibrium between warmth and competence.
Who represents that balance for you?
Common Challenges & What to Do Instead
1. Over-relying on competence:
You get results but lose connection.
➡️ Try: Start meetings by checking in, not just checking progress.
2. Over-relying on warmth:
You build relationships but avoid confrontation.
➡️ Try: Pair empathy with clarity. “I understand — and here’s what needs to happen next.”
3. Sending mixed signals:
Your tone says “friendly,” your words say “firm.”
➡️ Try: Align body language with message. Eye contact, calm tone, and open posture reinforce trust.
Before your next one-on-one or meeting, pause to ask:
“What does this person need more from me right now — reassurance or direction?”
Then, lead with warmth and close with competence.
Your Turn
Where do you see yourself on the BIAS Map today?
Who is your example of a balanced leader — someone who inspires trust and commands respect in equal measure?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Reply and share your reflections — you might inspire our next Fit to Lead topic.
Lead with What Matters series.